i guess they don’t insure

i guess they don’t insure cats

While requesting info from United Healthcare, got this message

They do have a disturbing propensity toward poetry, not someting I’m looking for in a health care provider. Though this one’s entertaining…

Your company isn’t a bowl of oatmeal,
it’s a kettle of mulligan stew.

You have couch potatoes and tri-athletes.
Night owls and early birds.

One size fits all won’t work for you.
Would you like the name of a good tailor?

who’s up for a nice steaming bowl of tri-athlete stew?