putting the hack back in eleganthack

I get a fair amount of mail from my cute little feedback forms, and every so often there […]

I get a fair amount of mail from my cute little feedback forms, and every so often there are some odd ones.

“is there a way to find out the ip address of a machine whose user u are chatting with in a website?”

“hello,

I´m looking for gsm-sim-hacksn i wants to hack me in my own things so i will have money for my mobile with my cardwriter . i can do my sim-card in my writer thani must have a write software for the sim- card . please can you look for my software look you are a profesor and i´m a boy (12) from germaniso it must be a software it makes money to my card . i must do :

so i must make the small sim card in the big kart.

so please help me !!! ”

Because I am not a hacker (nor a professor!) I can’t help these poor souls. If you would like to post the answers to their questions as a comment, I’ll happily email them and tell them to take a gander.

for those who haven’t figured it out:

I am an Information Architect and User Researcher. I can barely edit Perl to change the background color of greymatter, much less hack anything. When it comes to hacks, I have more in common with Raymond Chandler than Kevin Mitnick.

I can even capitalize if the situation calls for it.

Try astalavista

7 Comments

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  1. 1
    tk

    raymond chandler? hack? beg to object. n’uh-uh.

    mikey spillane, maybe. but not raymond chandler. raymond chandler is a hack like george eliot is a hack.

    i’d hesitate to compare myself, even unfavorably, with such a gifted writer!

  2. 2
    christina

    I knew I’d catch it for saying that, but was trying to think of some pulp writer from the 40’s offhandedly, and there you go! I’m a big chandler fan– have read big sleep a couple times, and watched it dozens more. the bogart and bacall adaptation is remarkable faithful, even though they had to allude to the drug trade.

  3. 3
    tk

    the biggest stuff that screwed around with the final edit of that movie was not allusions to the drug trade, but to homosexuality. there’s a great book – called something remarkably obvious like “Chandler and Film” – that has a rather interesting section on that whole thing about the body that disappears, which in the book was put on an altar like bier in a secret room by the guy’s male lover. censors didn’t allow any of it.

    also, interesting note… faulkner co-wrote the screenplay. at one point he called up howard hawks and said ‘who killed the chauffer?’ — talking about the driver in that car that ends up int he lake. hawks said, gee… i dunno. let’s call ray. so they call up raymond chandler and ask him. his answer “who cares? he’s dead.”

    this is actually more than JUST an amusing anecdote. chandler’s conceit was that his stories weren’t whodunnit mysteries at all. that the killings were just part of the warp and woof of his characters worlds, and the characters were why you should read it, just like any good book.

    anyway.

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